Don't Mess With The Best Because The Best Don't Mess !

After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a £500,000.00 home, a £35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV !!!!!!!!

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems !!!!!

How To Deal With A Snotty Receptionist !

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.


In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'

The room erupted in applause !!!!!!!!!!!

DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS !!!!!!!!!

Driver's Miraculous Escape

A Chinese driver escaped with barely a scratch after hundreds of steel bars crashed through the windscreen of his car.

Yang Junsheng, 24, ducked as the bars shot towards him and incredibly they all missed him.

He was left in shock - but with only a few scratches to his left cheek, following the accident in Taizhou, Zhejianag Province.

Yang admitted that the accident happened as he was trying to drive away from a police officer as the car was unregistered.

He smashed into a pick-up truck carrying a load of steel bars which were sent flying through his windscreen.

"My mind was very clear at that second, and I immediately dived down onto the passenger seat," Yang said.

"I heard an explosion and when the car stopped I couldn't move because the car was full of metal bars. They were everywhere."

He went to hospital for a check up but doctors said he had no injuries at all, apart from his scratches.

"It's pure magic that he could survive this," said one police officer. "When I saw the car I thought the driver had to be dead."

Article courtesy of ANANOVA and www.policeoracle.com