HOW YOU CAN TELL A GOOD HUSBAND !!!!

A VISIT TO THE BACARDI DISTILLERY IN PUERTO RICO

David wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's Christmas Party in Puerto Rico. David is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. David had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! ! David sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the villa.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Darling, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you sweetheart! Love, June'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is the hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son Simon is also at the dining table, eating. David asks, "Son... what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door".

Confused, he asked his son, "Simon, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,

"Leave me alone, I'm married!"

Broken Coffee Table £239.99
Hot Breakfast £4.20
Two Aspirins £0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time . .. PRICELESS
Good Husband

Postcript: It could be true, but I am denying all knowledge!!!! I hope you had a Happy Valentine's Day too!

WORDS OF AN OLD CORNISH SIGNBOARD

Rules of this Lodging House
_______

Fourpence a night for bed
Sixpence with Supper
No more than three to sleep in one bed
No beer allowed in the kitchen
No smoking when in bed
No clothes to be washed on Sunday
No Boots to be worn in bed
No dogs allowed upstairs
No Gambling or Fighting here
No extra charge for Luggage
No Razor Grinders taken in
Organ Grinders to sleep in the attick

By
IZIKIAH O'DONIVIAN

Donkeys, Chaises, Handcarts & Durries
Let on Hire

Mangling Done Here

Forget the past. The best is yet to come!

Overcome your past!

'Forgetting those things which are behind.' PHILLIPPIANS 3:13

It's impossible to succeed in life without overcoming your past. When the great Paderewski first started to study piano his teacher told him his hands were too small to master the keyboard. Yet the fire in his soul drove him to become a world-renowned pianist. When Enrico Caruso first started to study voice his teacher said he sounded like the wind whistling through the window. Today Caruso is remembered as one of the world's greatest tenors. If you need inspiration to overcome your life's obstacles, look no further than Christ.

Society called His birth illegitimate. He was born into a hated minority who experienced brutal oppression every day. The recognised church branded Him a heretic. The state called Him an insurrectionist too dangerous to live. One of His closest friends betrayed Him to enrich himself. He was sentenced without a fair trial and died like a common criminal. What was His response to His suffering, and ours? 'Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world' (John 16:33).

We spend far too much time crying over spilt milk. Rather than giving attention to the most important assignment we have every morning - our choice of an attitude - we waste our time and energy on things that cannot be changed. You cannot change the death of a loved one. You cannot change the fact that one day your spouse told you, 'I want a divorce.' The past is over. Look forward. Press on! God says, 'The plans I have for you...are...good' (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT).

That means the best is yet to be!

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